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Ask Anne: Relationship AdviceAsk Anne:
Relationship Questions

Teacher's Pet?

Tue, Jul 7th 1998

I'm very confused, I have a teacher who is thirty years older than me, but my close friends think he has feelings for me other than as a teacher's pet. He is married with no kids at home. Signs that I have picked up are that he gives me eye contact then will check me out, then gives me eye contact again (like maybe he wants me to know he's looking). A couple of times after looking at me, I've noticed he was sexually excited. Also, I am the only student from my town in this class. He makes friendly jokes about my town & the kind of people who live there. He's a calm person, but when he comes near me, he appears nervous & sometimes shakes/trembles. I told him that he has a good sense of humor & now he endlessly makes jokes then looks for a response from me. I've chatted with a school tutor over the Internet, and my teacher has brought up some of the things that were said between me & the tutor in class discussions (but doesn't say who said them), like he's checking on me. I recently received a new car & I wear nice clothes. Since I got my car, he talks about how he has a lot of money and about expensive vacations he has taken. I've seen him look at me in a seductive way, on different occasions. During class one time he gave me a big hug, for no reason. Also, he has made comments about himself personally, then looks at me. The comments he makes matches my personality (but doesn't really seem to match his). If I come to see him after/before class he is very happy & almost sounds excited, but if a friend comes with me, he seems annoyed. If, outside of class, I ask him a question that school policy states not to answer, he says "I'm not supposed to answer that, but.." then he does. Also, on a couple of bad research papers and a test I've believe he gave me extra points that I didn't deserve. He lives about a half hour away from me, or so he says, but I could have sworn I saw him drive by a few times. I think I'm an attractive girl; I carry myself well and I am conservative. He hasn't made any moves on me, but I feel he gives me much more attention then anyone else in my class. My boyfriend thinks it sounds like obsession...is it? What do you think is going on? He does look at other girls too, and this is only from one side. I would appreciate some help from you to understand what may be going on. Also, what would be signs of love obsession over a person?

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