Skip 
Navigation Link
Homosexuality & Bisexuality
Resources
Basic InformationLatest NewsQuestions and AnswersLinksBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups
Related Topics

Family & Relationship Issues

Ask Anne: Relationship AdviceAsk Anne:
Relationship Questions

Self-Acceptance

Tue, Sep 22nd 1998

I am a lesbian woman. I've been in a very deep relationship for over 3 years now. My whole life has changed in many positive ways. I'm 27, but feel as though I can't get past certain fears and insecurities. I know this has to be hard on my lover because she's a very secure woman, a little older than me, and one of the strongest people I have ever met. She possess great morals and values that were never taught to me growing up, so through the years she's become my mentor, my best friend, and my everything. She has roots - a family, sisters, friends - that I have never had. Sometimes I can become very jealous/angry that I don't have these things. I feel so childish - even acting childish at times. I begin to feel as though I share her with everyone, but then I feel as though I smother her. I can't just relax. I begin to stress, thinking she's pulling away from me. I'm the emotional one in this relationship. And even though I try hard not to cry, I end up doing so every time I turn around. I feel as though she might be losing something for me, so I'm trying to hold on for dear life. I don't know how to be a stronger woman, and i think it's driving a nail into this relationship. I'm beginning to see that she doesn't have patience with my emotions anymore. Is there any advice you can share with me?

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.