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Relationship Questions

Abusive Boyfriend

Sun, Sep 8th 2002

I have been with "C" for 7 months. He is a very sweet, kind, affectionate, caring man. However, from time to time he will fly into a rage. For example, we were on vacation together and it was dark outside and we didn't have any lights on in our room except for the television. I turned on some lights to "brighten" the place up. I was SCREAMED at. He told me to stop turning on the f'ing lights, asked me what my problem was, etc. Anne, when he flies into this rage, he will go on about stuff that has no bearing on what we were discussing in the first place (if we were discussing anything to begin with). He will bring stuff up from 7 months ago. And this will go on for hours at a time. When our relationship is good, its the best. However, when it's bad, its the absolute worst. I have been reading on BPD and am wondering if this is what's wrong with him. I have tried to break it off with him, but he will not leave me alone and I eventually give in just to get him to stop bugging me. When I say bugging me I mean he will call at least 30 times a day. He will vary between the sweetheart, the victim, and just pure rage. I can't get any rest with him bugging me constantly. So, I get back with him, just to appease him. Soothe the beast so to speak. I guess my question is...what do I do? I've been thinking the only way I'm ever going to get rid of this guy is to disappear. When I say disappear, I mean move while he's gone away at work and not leave any information, note...nothing. Or, do I stay with him and try to work it out with him? I'm so confused. I hope I don't sound like an idiot!

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