Sister's DeathMon, Sep 17th 2007
My sister died of breast cancer this past April. I have so much guilt because even though I knew she was ill, I just didn't see her as much as I wanted to. She and I were never close, and she never had any close friends. She lived with our mother, who was not much emotional support. She was divorced, deserted by her ex, and she only had one son who was divorced and she was helping him to raise his 4 children. We had a complex relationship. She, like my mother, was not a loving person, because our mother did not show affection, she did not either. She refused to talk about her cancer and never let us know how she was doing. I would ask her to let me go with her to see the doctor, and only once she asked me to go with her. When I asked the doctor questions, she would say no, don't ask, I don't want to know. I always felt like I couldn't do anything. She went to the hospital like the year before, but we did not know she was dying. The doctors never gave us indication of her not going back home. I feel so guilty that I didn't see her more, do more for her, or just be more of a friend to her. She had a difficult life, but part of it was because she just would not let anyone in. She was always critical of others, but now I see it was a shield to protect herself. How can I get over this depression of feeling guilt because I have a wonderful life and she didn't?
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