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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Is My Boyfriend Gay, or, Does He Just Have Sex Anxiety?

Thu, Feb 17th 2011

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. The first month was exciting, fun and we had a great sex life. After he started falling for me it died. It's now at the point where I can't remember the last time he initiated sex let alone even had sex with me.

The reason I've stayed is because he's been so open and honest about his problems and his past. He's had a few long term relationships when he was 19-22. He's now 28. For the 6 years in between he's admitted to having slept with hundreds of women. Most were one time things or short flings. He's told me he cannot maintain sex with a girlfriend but has also never been this is love.

While he was on his sex binge he sought help due to his family noticing his erratic behavior. His counselor said it was almost a sex addiction problem. I'm confused because I know he's faithful. I have no doubts about that. I figured if he was a sex addict he would cheat.

He's checked out men before, doesn't seem at all sexually attracted to me, even though he compliments me daily, and he's now at a point where he doesn't even want to try and have sex. He gets a headache when the topic of sex is brought up and if I try and have sex he gets all worked up, anxious and uncomfortable.

I can't tell whether he maybe gay, asexual, or just have severe deep seeded sexual intimacy issues. My friends and family think he's gay due to what I've told them.

I'm just so confused. I want to stay because I love him and he loves me and treats me so well, but my fear is I'm setting myself up for a huge let down. Please, any advice would be helpful.

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