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Is It Him Who Is Too Hard To Trust Or Is It Me?

Fri, Jul 9th 2010

A little background:

I'm a strong, independant woman. I'm friendly and engaging, but I have a very thick wall. I've gotten this way because as a little girl I was unable to depend on my parents for protection and comfort and concluded I could only count on myself. I've had many relationships, but I've always ended them because I just didn't feel they were "it."

About a year ago I met a guy who was everything I wanted. He lived a few hours from me so we exchanged numbers and after a few phone calls he admitted to me that he was married. I had always had strong morals about this situation but I was unable to hold them up in this situation. We began dating, and I told him I couldn't continue it and he would have to choose. Within a month he had filed divorce and we seriously pursued our relationship. I fell deeply in love and let him all the way in my walls, no holds barred. I knew he looked at porn, and I understood that we were far apart and, as he said, he wouldn't need it as much once we lived together. I was under the assumption that this meant we'd have more sex than he looked at porn, but, apparently not.

I told him I was fine with porn as long as it didn't effect our sex life and even offered to watch it together. However, he's been looking at it in secret almost every day since we moved in together over a month ago. To top it off, he told me several months into our relationship that I was not the first woman he had cheated with his wife on, as he had led me to believe. In fact, he had been cheating on her almost as long as they had been together, whenever he had the opportunity.

He's done a lot to prove how he feels for me, from divorcing his wife to moving here to live with me, and I don't doubt his feelings for me now. However, I can't help finding things to worry about, from him cheating on me too, to his continued (and possibly escalating) use of pornography leading to worse activities or a denegration of our sex life.

The main question is, do I have cause for concern, or am I being crazy and maybe causing problems?

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